My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Mending of Our Bodies and Hearts
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- Create Date：2021-04-19 00:31:21
- Update Date：2025-09-07
- Status：finish
- Author：Resmaa Menakem
- ISBN：1942094477
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
Reviews
Sarah Cohen
，
This book is hard to rate。 It seems like everyone is talking about it recently。 On the one hand， it has really valuable insights about embodied racialized trauma。 I would give it 4-5 stars for this。 But on the other hand， the thread throughout the book on how cops can heal their trauma in order to better protect & serve is just。。。 not what this abolitionist moment calls for。 Also the book was long and very repetitive。
Kelly
，
This book is essential reading & practicing。
Christine Schwab
，
Its almost too difficult in 2021 to read these words in the hopeful encouraging spirit they were written， in Minneapolis where we’ve just heard 13 year old Adam Toledo was killed in Chicago by police， right after 20 year old Daunte Wright was shot and killed by Brooklyn Center police， as we are reeling during the Derek Chauvin trial and mourning George Floyd， when it seems any potential lessons that could have been learned in 2017 were squandered。
Andy
，
This book can help us become aware of pent-up trauma， which fuels a culture of violence， and to settle our own bodies with simple basic methods anyone can practice。 The violence discussed here is racial， because we have yet to fully acknowledge and reckon with our history of racial violence。The practice of settling can come to our aid in the heat of a moment having the potential to impact the lives of those around us。 In this way， self-awareness， self-care， and self-control are not self-indulgen This book can help us become aware of pent-up trauma， which fuels a culture of violence， and to settle our own bodies with simple basic methods anyone can practice。 The violence discussed here is racial， because we have yet to fully acknowledge and reckon with our history of racial violence。The practice of settling can come to our aid in the heat of a moment having the potential to impact the lives of those around us。 In this way， self-awareness， self-care， and self-control are not self-indulgent -- they are the beginning of community。 How can that be？ By learning to actually deal with our own pain and fear cleanly， we avoid "blowing" dirty pain and fear into others。 The chain of trauma ends。 There is space for something healthier to grow between people instead。 。。。more
Tara Lingeman
，
This book was an expanding experience - both mind and body。 So much of what Menakem wrote here resonated with me as Truth that I have felt but didn't have the language to articulate。 This work feels on the cutting edge of where the work needs to be for all of us。 The practices he includes are truly life changing。 This book was an expanding experience - both mind and body。 So much of what Menakem wrote here resonated with me as Truth that I have felt but didn't have the language to articulate。 This work feels on the cutting edge of where the work needs to be for all of us。 The practices he includes are truly life changing。 。。。more
Leanne
，
Read as part of a Lenten book group。
Anicka Austin
，
The base premise of this book， systemic racism and trauma at large require body-centered healing practices for our collective well-being， is on point。 Along with the detailed explanation of that premise， the exercises are the best part of the book for me。 I don't completely agree with the parts about police bodies or understand how that's a category in a list with Black and white bodies， but I see where Menakem saw the need to address policing。 The gaps in this book are mostly around policing。 S The base premise of this book， systemic racism and trauma at large require body-centered healing practices for our collective well-being， is on point。 Along with the detailed explanation of that premise， the exercises are the best part of the book for me。 I don't completely agree with the parts about police bodies or understand how that's a category in a list with Black and white bodies， but I see where Menakem saw the need to address policing。 The gaps in this book are mostly around policing。 Some of the practices outlined for police to engage in community policing， while maybe idyllic， feel far-fetched in this moment in time。Recommend for people interested in generational trauma and practical exercises to connect with your body and the bodies and others， like humming， buzzing and so forth。 Some of the same principles of meditation and other lifestyle changes to slow down trauma responses is in The Body Keeps the Score。The audiobook is good。 I liked the narrator， though his performance didn't completely align with the content。 。。。more
Kayla Boss
，
it’s a necessary read。 i love that Resmaa Menakem specially calls out what group of people he’s speaking to in certain chapters and/or certain paragraphs。 it’s specially geared towards Black and Brown bodies， white bodies， and police bodies。 this book is such a practical tool for the journey of anti-racism， with specific steps to heal the trauma of white-body supremacy that exists within all of us。 i borrowed this from the library but i will be purchasing my own copy so i can reference it over a it’s a necessary read。 i love that Resmaa Menakem specially calls out what group of people he’s speaking to in certain chapters and/or certain paragraphs。 it’s specially geared towards Black and Brown bodies， white bodies， and police bodies。 this book is such a practical tool for the journey of anti-racism， with specific steps to heal the trauma of white-body supremacy that exists within all of us。 i borrowed this from the library but i will be purchasing my own copy so i can reference it over and over again。 the first part of this book is full of some really good information about the generational trauma we carry within our bodies and brains and how it continues to show up， without our consciously knowing it。 we have to heal our bodies and minds in order to conquer and rid ourselves of white-body supremacy。 and though it’s not necessarily the point， these tools can be used to heal all forms of trauma。 as a therapist/social worker myself， i found this book valuable for the work i need to do on myself as well as for my profession。 。。。more
Sarah
，
Was super disappointed in this book because I had really high hopes for it。 TLDR， I don't recommend， and am absolutely looking sideways at the coworker who recommended it。The premise， that white supremacy causes trauma， that trauma manifests in the body， and that trauma is intergenerational， was what excited me about this book。 Pretty immediately I realized that I fundamentally disagree with the author on their understanding of policing and how to address the issue of police violence （aka， polic Was super disappointed in this book because I had really high hopes for it。 TLDR， I don't recommend， and am absolutely looking sideways at the coworker who recommended it。The premise， that white supremacy causes trauma， that trauma manifests in the body， and that trauma is intergenerational， was what excited me about this book。 Pretty immediately I realized that I fundamentally disagree with the author on their understanding of policing and how to address the issue of police violence （aka， policing）。 The author would mention that the history and origin of policing is slave patrols and the oppression of Black people， but still think that "Over the past two decades， the nature of policing in many American communities has changed from protect， serve， and keep the peace to control， arrest， and shoot。 Cops who used to walk beats now cruise them in police cars （116）" （for reference， his brother is a cop and he refers to himself as a "law abiding citizen" so。。。。 yuck。 He consistently uses the language of "white bodies， Black bodies， and police bodies" which is just absurd。 The majority of my highlighted sections were pro-police passages that were just so ridiculous to me。 Recommendations for "police bodies" to heal their trauma include "as part of your patrol， hang out at the corner park for a few minutes to chat with people and pet their dogs。 Or， when you see a group of kids dancing， pull over and dance with them。 If you don’t know the dance， ask them to teach you （221）" -- with no acknowledgement that Black people and people of color may not want to teach a cop to dance or chat with you， and that a cop approaching them could be extremely stressful。 They recommend that event organizers: "As part of a march， have everyone smile， nod， and make brief eye contact with each police officer as they pass them。 （240）" -- imagine asking people who may have very valid fear and traumatic experiences with police to smile and make eye contact with police officers， as if that is their responsibility。 His chapters on how police can reform and self-care （literally， many of his suggestions are "self-care"） their way to not murdering and causing violence against Black communities state that "This isn’t about pointing fingers and calling cops racist。 It’s about training your officers to do their jobs better—and to avoid needlessly hurting or killing someone"。。。。 but never questions why a job that inherently has the option to "needlessly hurt or kill someone" should continue to exist。His few chapters that provide breathing and grounding exercises are helpful， but 1） I cannot divorce the rest of his harmful perspective from these suggestions and 2） you can find information on those breathing and grounding exercises elsewhere without subjecting yourself to pro-cop and policing rhetoric。 I also disagree with his premise that "Healing with other human beings requires us to respect， regard， and be in harmony with other bodies。 Black， white， and police bodies all need to learn to be more comfortable and settled with one another。 （181）" It is never the duty of the oppressed to "be comfortable" with their oppressors。 The focus on the individual body， or healing the collective of individual bodies， places all too much focus on the individual rather than the system。 Yes， a mass of individuals changing their beliefs and actions can have greater change， but it is unfathomable to put any burden of dismantling white supremacy on anybody but white people。 This focus on the individual body is why his sections on how white bodies can heal their trauma to end white body supremacy includes "naming your children after Black people you admire like Rosa Parks" and "go to spaces with lots of Black people like African restaurants" rather than something like "reparations for Black people to reduce one aspect of continued retraumatization， e。g。 food， housing， economic instability or insecurity" and why the focus is on police healing their trauma so that they don't accidentally "go into a fight or annihilate response" when interacting with Black people rather than changing it so a whole class of people do not have the systemic ability to annihilate。 "Efforts to dissolve white-body supremacy do not （and should not） focus on taking anything away from white people。 Instead， they focus on extending white Americans’ rights， privileges， and opportunities to people of all colors， so that all Americans get to enjoy them in equal measure。 （272）" -- this was so， to put it plainly， stupid。 White people's rights， privileges， and opportunities exist only because of oppression of Black people and people of color。 You are， fundamentally， not able to extend those privileges to the people intrinsically excluded from them。It really sucks because again， I had high hopes for this book。 I forced myself to finish it because I needed to know what nonsense he would say about police self care and to see if the book ever redeemed itself。 The few small nuggets of truth about intergenerational and racialized trauma （the only reason that this book is not 1 star -- BARELY） are completely overshadowed and poisoned by the rest of the book。 And， to top it all off， he was definitely fatphobic （suggesting losing weight， dieting， and exercising -- that "excess weight" means your body may not be healthy or resilient） as part of his suggestions for a self care and "growth routine"。 One of the few quotes I highlighted that wasn't out of bewilderment: "Our bodies have a form of knowledge that is different from our cognitive brains。 This knowledge is typically experienced as a felt sense of constriction or expansion， pain or ease， energy or numbness。 Often this knowledge is stored in our bodies as wordless stories about what is safe and what is dangerous。 The body is where we fear， hope， and react; where we constrict and release; and where we reflexively fight， flee， or freeze。 （5）" 。。。more
Rebecca
，
This should be read by everyone， specifically United States citizens。 The hate we have been seeing is only growing。 It is my hope we can heal ourselves from our pain in a clean way—from within—instead of dirty pain， which hurts others。
Steph
，
A heavy， but important read that everyone needs to journey through。 I was initially drawn to this book as a teacher， but it essential for anyone to read。 It took me a long time to get through because the activities within take up a lot of energy and couldn’t be partially completed， so I had to read it during breaks in the school year。 Considering the author lives in Minnesota， it felt extra significant to read as George Floyd’s murder trial is currently ongoing。 Hopefully we can all begin to hea A heavy， but important read that everyone needs to journey through。 I was initially drawn to this book as a teacher， but it essential for anyone to read。 It took me a long time to get through because the activities within take up a lot of energy and couldn’t be partially completed， so I had to read it during breaks in the school year。 Considering the author lives in Minnesota， it felt extra significant to read as George Floyd’s murder trial is currently ongoing。 Hopefully we can all begin to heal， but as the author reminds us， we have a lot of work to do before that even begins to happen。 Bonus: The quotes at the beginning of the chapter alone are memorable and important。 This is a vital book to own and study to help heal ourselves， and as a result society。 。。。more
Diane
，
Profound， difficult， confronting， myth-busting， deeply insightful， empowering， enlightening， shocking， truthful。 Menakem is a light-bearer to help awaken our world to true compassion and to help open the doors to our deepest humanity。 We are all human， after all。 The book is a gift。 Please accept the gift， no matter what color your skin。
Larkin Tackett
，
Resmaa Menakem is a somatic therapist， social worker， and counselor， and has written one of the most powerful books about race， "white body supremacy，" and trauma that I've ever read。 His thesis is that all of our bodies are full of un-metabolized multi-generational trauma that manifests itself in violence， especially against Black bodies。 "Events don't just get written down;" he writes， "they get recorded and passed on in human bodies。" This became clear to me one night with my family when I ha Resmaa Menakem is a somatic therapist， social worker， and counselor， and has written one of the most powerful books about race， "white body supremacy，" and trauma that I've ever read。 His thesis is that all of our bodies are full of un-metabolized multi-generational trauma that manifests itself in violence， especially against Black bodies。 "Events don't just get written down;" he writes， "they get recorded and passed on in human bodies。" This became clear to me one night with my family when I had a mental episode。 The event included my typical fleeing response in the face of conflict， which was caused in part by my vassal or （as Resmaa describes it） soul nerve。 His five anchors （1-Soothe yourself; 2-Notice your sensations; 3-Accept the discomfort; 4-Stay present; and 5-Safely discharge remaining energy） were valuable as I processed my episode。 Because I have benefited greatly from white body supremacy and desperately want to be the "settled body" that can help myself and others heal， the reflections and practices in this book will be valuable for a long time。 。。。more
Angela
，
Interesting concepts and helpful tips and exercises
Sarah Grundy
，
I really do believe that this book has a lot of wisdom and things that feel quite exciting and hopeful to try out and to work on and I think there really is something in somatic work and racial justice along with intersectional justice as well。 I would however say that I found some aspects of the book quite confusing， difficult or offensive。 For example calling people "yellow" or "red" felt offensive at least my understanding of that use of language has only ever been in contexts that are offen I really do believe that this book has a lot of wisdom and things that feel quite exciting and hopeful to try out and to work on and I think there really is something in somatic work and racial justice along with intersectional justice as well。 I would however say that I found some aspects of the book quite confusing， difficult or offensive。 For example calling people "yellow" or "red" felt offensive at least my understanding of that use of language has only ever been in contexts that are offensive so I found this quite confusing。 I also found the language around the police difficult because it felt like Resmaa Menakem was saying that we should support the police and we should be critical whereas I think there are some other interesting models that aren't the police that could be explored and so I don't believe you do have to inherently support the police model， so I found that quite difficult and am still thinking about that one。 That said， I think that there are so many useful things in this book that feel very practical on both a personal and community level， mainly unpacking trauma and trauma responses around race and setting off thinking about cultural shifts。 Overall I would recommend reading this book as I think it is powerful in its ability to spark a certain way of thinking and responsibility to face issues around racism head on。 。。。more
Maggie Dunleavy
，
There is some really beautiful wisdom in here about finding ways to settle our bodies in order to step into genuine work dismantling our own white supremacy and racialized trauma。 There is some light to medium copaganda that made me pause， but I am glad I read this and would recommend， especially for folks who are less experienced in body work/somatic stuff 😙
Sera
，
An excellent book about the need for collective healing prior to policy change as it relates to racism。 This book is very different from the other books I have been reading to help me on my journey to anti-racism。 Menakem talks about how centuries of trauma to and within black， white and police bodies have led us to where we are in our race and communal relations today。 He also does an excellent job of showing how we can settle our bodies and heal within ourselves， and then， how we can take thos An excellent book about the need for collective healing prior to policy change as it relates to racism。 This book is very different from the other books I have been reading to help me on my journey to anti-racism。 Menakem talks about how centuries of trauma to and within black， white and police bodies have led us to where we are in our race and communal relations today。 He also does an excellent job of showing how we can settle our bodies and heal within ourselves， and then， how we can take those actions to scale within in our communities， and ultimately， our country。 Menakem states that policy changes can't occur without cultural change happening first。 I'm not sure that I agree with him on this point， although I do believe that cultural change would certainly accelerate the policy piece。 I feel that many people fear policy changes because they have been told a large number of mistruths about what will happen if such changes occur。 If the policy change is made without having these outcomes， then people grow more comfortable with it。 Again， gay marriage comes to mind。 The traditional notion of marriage between a man and woman didn't implode as most people had feared when gay marriage was legalized。 Even so， I agree with Menakem that cultural change is mandatory to our changing the image and the dynamics of race relations in America in positive ways。I highly recommend this book。 。。。more
Emily
，
This is the best book I’ve ever read。 I will share it enthusiastically far and wide。 It was like a warm hug， a firm talking to， and a powerful spiritual experience combined。
Yarub Khayat
，
رغم روعته وعمقه: 3نجوم للقارئ العربي لأن الكتاب متعلق فقط بتفاصيل الحياة والمشكلات الأمريكية، ويبدو أن صدوره عام 2017 كان رد فعل لتصاعد العنف ضد السود هناك؛هذا كتاب أمريكي عن تأثيرات العنصرية وانتقالها عبر الجينات إلى الأحفاد وأبناء الأحفاد؛ وأن علاج ذلك يتطلب عدة أجيال وذلك"From the Prespective of Body - Centered Psychology" يتناول الكتاب بالتحليل أثر العنصرية على السود （والملونين） في أمريكا، وأثرها على أفراد الشرطة الأمريكيين الذي قد يتسبب لإطلاق النار على شخص بسبب لون بشرته، وأثر العنصرية على رغم روعته وعمقه: 3نجوم للقارئ العربي لأن الكتاب متعلق فقط بتفاصيل الحياة والمشكلات الأمريكية، ويبدو أن صدوره عام 2017 كان رد فعل لتصاعد العنف ضد السود هناك؛هذا كتاب أمريكي عن تأثيرات العنصرية وانتقالها عبر الجينات إلى الأحفاد وأبناء الأحفاد؛ وأن علاج ذلك يتطلب عدة أجيال وذلك"From the Prespective of Body - Centered Psychology" يتناول الكتاب بالتحليل أثر العنصرية على السود （والملونين） في أمريكا، وأثرها على أفراد الشرطة الأمريكيين الذي قد يتسبب لإطلاق النار على شخص بسبب لون بشرته، وأثر العنصرية على نفسية وسيكولوجية البيض وشعور المرأة البيضاء بالفوقية لو كانت متزوجة من رجل أسود。 رغم أن الكتاب مختص بالولايات المتحدة الأمريكية، إلا أني أرى جدوى مشاهدة تسجيل الفيديو المرفق حيث أن الأنفس البشرية متشابهة مهما تباعدت الجغرافيا، وهو فيديو 5 دقائق للتعريف المركز بهذا الكتاب الهام الذي صدر بتاريخ 21 أغسطس من عام 2017 （بعد أكثر من عام ونصف على تولي الرئيس دونالد ترامب مقعد رئاسة الولايات المتحدة الأمريكية。 يتطلب الكتاب التفكير والمناقشات الجماعية المستمرة لما حصل لهم في السابق ولمشاعر جماعة قراءه، وما قد يحصل لهم أو أمامهم 。。 بالرابط أدناه الفيديو المشار إليه أعلاه، ومدته خمس دقائق للتعريف المختصر والشامل بهذا الكتاب الرائعhttps://youtu。be/W3ZGJ9hpRXo 。。。more
Amal Farrough
，
This book and author represent the best of America — courage， deep and profound insight， and powerful truth-telling。 I wish every American。 Hold read it and practice the healing that Resmaa Menakem teaches。
Liz Star
，
A beautiful， compassionate guide to generational healing from trauma。
Grace
，
Really interesting read that dives into white supremacy as white body supremacy and something that historically and continually lives in all bodies as trauma。 It's a hands-on book with specific exercises and strategies to help connect to and settle your body and I thought the concept made a lot of sense an appreciated that it had practical suggestions and applications。 I personally struggled with the anti-fat bias sprinkled throughout， and there were a few other nuances that didn't quite resonat Really interesting read that dives into white supremacy as white body supremacy and something that historically and continually lives in all bodies as trauma。 It's a hands-on book with specific exercises and strategies to help connect to and settle your body and I thought the concept made a lot of sense an appreciated that it had practical suggestions and applications。 I personally struggled with the anti-fat bias sprinkled throughout， and there were a few other nuances that didn't quite resonate， but I thought it was a really interesting read。 。。。more
Martha
，
Not for me。
Anna Fink
，
Probably won’t rate this one for a little while。 I read this along with some other white women in my life and we will be processing it together in a few weeks。Right now my initial thoughts are still swirling。 There was so much in this book I wish that every person would read， especially in regards to recognizing and acknowledging our trauma。 The healing part of this book is still causing a lot of questions for me。 Even after going through EMDR trauma therapy in my own life， this seems to bring u Probably won’t rate this one for a little while。 I read this along with some other white women in my life and we will be processing it together in a few weeks。Right now my initial thoughts are still swirling。 There was so much in this book I wish that every person would read， especially in regards to recognizing and acknowledging our trauma。 The healing part of this book is still causing a lot of questions for me。 Even after going through EMDR trauma therapy in my own life， this seems to bring up so much more that needs to be healed and worked through not only in my own personal life but also for our entire society。 I find it incredibly overwhelming。 I’m glad I read it。 There are parts I will continue to go back to over and over。 。。。more
Allison
，
This book might seem a little woo-y if you don’t have any exposure to counseling or topics around trauma and body experience， but it is so good。 SO GOOD。 I am glad I bought this to have the exercises to reference both simply to better exist in the world and learn to settle my body， and also to engage with creating a positive white culture that values and privileges all bodies。Please read this。 If you don’t believe in white-body supremacy， maybe don’t start here， but come here next。See also: ever This book might seem a little woo-y if you don’t have any exposure to counseling or topics around trauma and body experience， but it is so good。 SO GOOD。 I am glad I bought this to have the exercises to reference both simply to better exist in the world and learn to settle my body， and also to engage with creating a positive white culture that values and privileges all bodies。Please read this。 If you don’t believe in white-body supremacy， maybe don’t start here， but come here next。See also: everybody could benefit from good counseling。 。。。more
Erica Lutes
，
Interesting take on race and trauma！
Chris
，
This is unlike any other book I've read on racism， and it's a good， refreshing thing。Menakem is a therapist， and his perspective starts with the body。 He sees the trauma induced by racism as a physical thing and posits that we need to address as such。 Specifically， in the vagus nerve， "which oversees a vast array of crucial bodily functions， including control of mood， immune response， digestion， and heart rate。 It establishes one of the connections between the brain and the gastrointestinal trac This is unlike any other book I've read on racism， and it's a good， refreshing thing。Menakem is a therapist， and his perspective starts with the body。 He sees the trauma induced by racism as a physical thing and posits that we need to address as such。 Specifically， in the vagus nerve， "which oversees a vast array of crucial bodily functions， including control of mood， immune response， digestion， and heart rate。 It establishes one of the connections between the brain and the gastrointestinal tract and sends information about the state of the inner organs to the brain via afferent fibers。"* The vagus nerve activates what Menakem calls the lizard brain， the automatic， instinctive part of our brain that precedes and can override the cognitive brain。 The distinction， I believe， that Daniel Kahneman prominently makes between fast thinking and slow thinking。 It's where things like implicit bias take place。 Unthinking reactions。 Gut reactions。 So to heal the trauma of racism we don't need to address our slow， cognitive brain so much as we need to get at the lizard brain and the parts of our body in dialogue with it。When I saw the words "racialized trauma" in the subtitle I assumed this would be mostly addressed to a Black audience。 It's not。 Menakem explicitly speaks to three audiences in turn: Black， white， and police。 Each holds onto a different type of trauma associated with racism， and each has different needs to heal it。 He gives a good overview of the history of racism through to the present moment， made all the more interesting for his body-centric perspective; he not only covers familiar ground， he adds to it。 He has some wonderfully powerful anecdotes from his experiences and finds ways to make everything personal。 And the core of his book is the "body practice，" simple steps each audience can take to calm and heal their bodies。Menakem is a therapist first and writer second， and I see many ways a good editor could have made this book stronger， but he always communicates clearly and effectively， and the content is invaluable。 This is a fascinating book that I recommend to anyone who spends any time reading about and working on racism。-----*www。ncbi。nlm。nih。gov/pmc/articles/PMC5859128/ 。。。more
RoseAnn
，
I read this for an extended book club and found it had some great body practices to help become aware of the physiological reaction to racism。
Leslie
，
Such a powerful reminder of how we hold trauma in our bodies， no matter what our race， and how to recognize and reckon with that。 I had a hard time really getting into the exercises to feel more embodied， but that just signals to me that I have more work to do to get even more out of Resmaa Menakem's work。 Such a powerful reminder of how we hold trauma in our bodies， no matter what our race， and how to recognize and reckon with that。 I had a hard time really getting into the exercises to feel more embodied， but that just signals to me that I have more work to do to get even more out of Resmaa Menakem's work。 。。。more
Katie B-K
，